Apr 14, 2010

Channeling Chancellor Rhee

Guest post featuring Efavorite with Celeste Jones, graphic artist

Earlier tonight, I was writing a comment on Bill Turque’s latest article about Rhee’s spurious budget surplus, when something came over me. Suddenly I was shaking uncontrollably. I was possessed by Michelle Rhee! This is what she said, through me: HELP!!! Please help me before I screw up another budget. I have no choice. I have no idea how to balance a budget; I can only lie and cheat and screw it up. H-E-E-L-L-P-P! PLEASE!! Someone stop me before I fire more innocent teachers and upset kids in the middle of a school year. I can’t do it by myself. I need help. H-E-E-L-L-P-P! Can’t you hear me screaming out?? Please, oh Please, Washington Post Editorial Board – don’t defend me again against the indefensible. I can’t stand to see you do it another time. I cry and scream whenever I see an editorial supporting my latest horrid exploit. Can’t you see through me?? What is it with you people? Don’t you read your own newspaper? When I come to tell you all my latest stupid, crazy, lies, I’m sure you’ll throw me out on my petite behind. But NO! You twist yourselves into a pretzel covering for me, forcing me to go out and screw up again. Please, I want it to end --- end --- end.

Then, suddenly, my body convulsed again, and I found myself sitting quietly at my computer, breathing normally and looking out the window at the comforting “Vince Gray for Mayor” sign. My ordeal was finally over.

Posted by The Washington Teacher

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